9/26/10
It’s been a crazy whirlwind of a week. Impulsive,
obsessive, spontaneous-ness won out against all other priorities. On Tuesday
night, September 21st, I left my house at 9:17pm to drive all night
to New York for Madonna and Lola’s Macy’s Material Girl Collection party. It
was an incredible experience. Each state before then I would call Eric and
say-ok I’m in this state now, now this one, now this one-until I got to DC and
he told me that was far enough and that he had to go to bed. I slept from
4am-5am (sort of) in a Hampton Inn parking lot 50 miles outside DC. I was scared and uncomfortable and feeling
like what I was doing was ridiculous. Then I just couldn’t take it anymore so I
thought I better just go bc it will be rush hour in DC soon. I’m glad I did it,
bc I was sitting in bumper to bumper traffic at 5:30am. I remember looking out
at the horizon to my left in the pitch black I could still see the Washington
Monument pointing towards the heavens.
I
remember around that time Amy called me too to tell me she was up and headed to
the airport. I remember feeling glad bc the trip was more than half over and
Amy was awake now too. I got to LGA around the exact time she landed, only bc I
had stopped so many times. I remember driving along the Brooklyn/Queens
Expressway, with M songs blasting, driving through the massive traffic,
circling the entire island with stunning panoramic views. I remember thinking
and feeling euphoria-about to pick up Amy to have the time of our lives. I got
Amy, we were trying to find each other through a parking garage and we just got
lucky that it was the same one we were both in. I picked her up and we got some
snacks. (Neither of us could eat much.) Then we went to our hotel. I remember
waiting to check in and we talked about what we told work when we called in.
Then we went to an atm to get money to pay Wendy. We called her-then drove
through the Holland Tunnel (again) to pay her. I parked right beside Macy’s on
the street and she went to “exchange” money for tix from Wendy. We saw the pink
carpet and got so fucking excited. I remember her coming back to the car with
the bags. I kept looking in my side mirror to see when she would come back. She
got back in-and we both screamed. It became so real then. So then we went back
to New Jersey-and went to Target and then the liquor store. We got Bacardi and
coke. We went back to the hotel-drank and got ready. We had the front desk call
for a cab but then we decided to just drive in.
I
remember blasting all the new leaks (Broken, Animal, Latte, Give It to Me and
Beat Goes on remixes) all through Holland Tunnel (yes again) with the windows
and the sunroof down. Surreal, wonderful, high. Buzzed. We found a garage and
texted the address to ourselves so we would remember it. We went into some
Irish bar and I told my mom where I was and what I was doing bc she wouldn’t
stop calling me. She was so excited once I told her. Then Amy and I had a lemon
drop shot in honor of M and one of her favorites. I went to pee and had to hold
the door shut bc it wouldn’t lock. Then we left and I told my mom I had to go
(yes she called me again).
We
started walking down the street and the butterflies intensified. Amy wanted me
to put on my VIP pass as we walked down the street and I said no way. We got
there and the press was already interviewing Taylor Momsen. I took a pick. We
went inside the doors and asked a Macy’s dude where we needed to go. He didn’t
even know M was gonna be there. Are you fucking kidding me. We went back
outside to the pink carpet. Ring, ring, ring goes my telephone. Guess who? My
mom again. Where are you now? What do you see? I wish I was there. L.
Wendy and Jeannie called us and told us to come inside so we could get a good
spot.
Going
up escalators to the 4th floor-Mom-I have to go-I’m inside. I’ll
text you a picture inside. Exit on 4th floor. Breathing
rapidly-throat closing. Jeannie waving, hugging Jeannie. Hugging Wendy telling her
she is an angel-the kindest person on the planet for helping us. I’m buzzed.
Happy. Thrilled. Excited. Don’t know what to feel. We get in line. A Macy’s guy
keeps repeating himself about how he will remove and embarrass anyone in the
line who doesn’t wear a VIP pass around their neck. Yes, I’m wearing it now. He
tells a woman and her daughter they have to get out of line behind us bc the
mother doesn’t have a pass. The mother says the girl is 14 and goes to school
with Lola. They get to stay in the line.
Oh.
My. Fucking. God. the line is moving. One foot in front of the other. We walk
past a girl who looks my age. Her outfit is kickass. I tell her this. She smiles sincerely and says
thanks. I’m buzzed and on a rush. We get inside and we see Howie and Angel and
high-five them. Howie and his friend that I don’t know are making fun of the
song “Die Another Day” bc they say its all Madonna says throughout the whole
song. We wait. And wait and wait. It gets hotter. And hotter. And hotter.
Everyone knows M hates air conditioning. I am thinking I’m going to die of a
heat stroke.
Finally,
she comes out. Cameras go up-including mine. I text my mom a pic as I promised.
She replies, “very pink”. Then I feel calmer. We watch the dancers and just
hang. Its over. We meet up with Izzy, Jeannie, Wendy, and the blonde girl who
was w/us at Confessions Tour but I cant remember her name. We all hug again and
talk about how awesome it was. Jeannie says we need to stay there bc M will
come back out to leave. We stay. Carlos comes out. Everybody screams “Hey
Carlos!” And some girl beside me yells out “your so hottttt!!” that vid is
actually on youtube and has us in it. Then we pose w/hypnosis and Norman.
Hypnosis also screams out that Carlos is rad. We point to people we recognize.
Make up guy, bodyguards, assistant. Jeannie screams to Guy Oseary to let us
back there where M is at. He shrugs and says he cant do it. What a shocker.
Jeannie says we should always ask no matter what.
Screaming
erupts. I get my cam ready to take a pic. Amy tells me to take a video instead.
I will my phone and pray to God that the battery will last long enough for me
to capture this incredible moment. She’s walking towards us. Rocco first.
Then-OH. MY. GOD. She is right in front of us smiling right at us. My camera
dutifully records on. She’s gone. I play my video to the group and they swoon
over it and beg me to put it on FB, Twitter, Youtube, Gmail-everything.
Everywhere. Jeannie says we are going to Dave and Busters. My mom calls me
again. I tell her I’ll call her right back. Hypnosis is in front of us on the
escalator talking to a man I don’t recognize. “That nigga tried to play me I
will drop that nigga.” He was really mad about something. Anyway I didn’t want
to sound like a complete loser and gush to my mom while he is there.
On
the main floor of Macy’s we go opposite
directions. My fingers dial my mom. We go through revolving doors. I tell Amy
that we need to go to 46th and 8th. We walk out onto the
street. Shit-it’s raining and my hair is straight. Eric calls me. We argue
about where I am. Of course, I know my location but he seems to think Dave and
Busters is somewhere else. We make a pit stop at the Ripleys Museum bc there is
some Moose? Replica and Amy says her mom would like it.
We
get to Dave and Busters. We watch the video 7 times in a row. The waiter comes.
I ask for 6 million waters bc Madonna hates AC. We order potato skins and mini
philly cheese steaks. It’s the best food we’ve ever had. Maybe bc we were
finally able to hold food in our stomachs. Maybe bc we were the happiest girls
on the planet. W get back to the parking garage and debate whether we are
supposed to tip the guy who brings our car. In the end, we decide against it. I
feel bad. Amy says its ok.
We
get back to the hotel. I turn on the tv. Family Guy is on. I laugh at something
Peter says. I take a shower bc I feel grimy. When I get out Amy is ferociously
on her phone twittering, facebooking. We watch the video on my phone again. We talk
through text and fb but not directly to each other. There is too much going on
on our phones. We go to bed. We get up at 5. I have to take her to the airport.
I’ve had 4 hours of sleep in 2 days. I feel surprisingly alive. The streets of
NYC are sleeping and empty. I drop her off. We say goodbye.
I
get back into Manhattan, put Harrisburg, PA in my GPS. I miss the same street
downtown getting out of Manhattan 3 times and have to keep circling. It starts
to be daylight around the time I get into Pennsylvania. I stop at a WaWa and
get a sausage and egg croissant. I miss Eric bc he would have gotten a
breakfast sandwich too. I feel a taste of fall with a slight chill in the
air-but not too much. I get back in my car and pull over somewhere before I get
back on the interstate to make the call to work that I wont be in today either.
I cant eat till I have this out of the way. I also need to be pulled over so it
wont sound like I’m in a car. I get on the interstate. I turn on my music-take
a deep breath and absorb all that I have experienced-re-live it a thousand
times in my head-journey home. I make it home. I still cant believe I have
leftover adrenaline providing me energy. I fall asleep. I go to work, I sit in
the morning meeting-feeling odd-like did this really even happen? This feels
normal but strange all the same. Everything appears normal.
I
tell no one what I’ve actually done. They ask how Brayden is. I say much
better. I don’t allow myself to care. I thank God for allowing me to experience
what I did, and that I was able to stay safe and protected the whole time. That
I made it-all the way there, and back.
